So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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