I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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