Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
