I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
