I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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