i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think I am morally bankrupt
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Randomize
