Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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