I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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