Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
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