I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize