Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
