Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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