I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
