she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
