That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
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Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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