I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You made out with two different species that night
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
