yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
only if we run a train.
done.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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