Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
