He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
