ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
