found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
