forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My dick has a subreddit
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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