This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
