Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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