Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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