I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
