its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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