he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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