My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
