omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
