'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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