john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
