i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
