It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize