I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
