it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize