"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
