Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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