My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
