Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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