I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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