sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize