the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
