I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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