he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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