kristin has been a bad kristin
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
