Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You're completely useless in the revolution.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
