butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
