Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
