So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
