its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
