I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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