Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
