I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
